When you let anyone review any car, amazing things happen.
After expanding from books to electronics to pretty much everything on the planet, Amazon now even has a car-shopping section. You can’t actually buy cars through the online retailer – yet – but the new Amazon Vehicles lets you research various models’ specifications and see photos.
There are also, as with any good Amazon product, customer-written reviews. And sure enough, many of the reviews come from owners who detail all the pros, cons, and quirks of their vehicle. Just like when you look at reviews for, say, headphones, it can be really useful.
Lease or buy – shop for your next car on Motor1.com.
Unfortunately, there’s no real vetting of ownership, meaning pretty much any Amazon user can craft a review for pretty much any car. Are there really many Ferrari owners logging on to share their feelings on Italian supercars? As a result, Amazon Vehicles has a hilarious mix of overly thorough, downright serious reviews, and some blatantly ridiculous attempts at humor.
We sifted through the thousands of entries so you don’t have to; here are the best and worst ones we could find; click the links to read the full reviews. They have not, by the way, been edited at all and are presented as posted. Have any winning reviews we missed? Leave us a note in the comments.
The Best Reviews
The owner of both a 3 i Touring and a Mazdaspeed 3 weighs in on what makes Mazda’s hatchbacks stand out in the compact-car segment.
"If you enjoy the act of driving, at least test drive this car. It'll make you wonder why anyone buys a Civic/Corolla/Elantra. The responsiveness is great and the brakes induce confidence. The agile handling comes at the cost of a stiffer ride, but if you enjoy driving, you prefer feeling the road instead of floating over it anyway.”
An incredibly detailed review of why one man loves his big, retro-styled muscle car.
“I love my Scat pack. It's a blast to drive, roomy, and filled with luxuries/comforts you wouldn't expect in a muscle car. It's sad to say but the thing that really sold me on this vehicle is the ability to get in and out easily.”
Concise details help make this a useful review for anyone shopping used pickup trucks.
“Used as a daily driver and occasional hauling, I haven't had a bit of trouble in 5000 miles. Cab is tightly built, and surprisingly quiet for a small truck. The i5 engine is more than adequate for light duty, but it does have an inherant vibration due to the odd number of cylinders … City gas mileage isn't so hot, but highway mileage is decent. I've squeezed 27 MPG under perfect conditions, with averages around 21. The ride is smooth on pavement, even with my A/T tires.”
This reviewer takes a very serious and very sensible look at his new rear-wheel-drive sports car. It’s one of the more useful Amazon Vehicles reviews we’ve found so far.
“Given that the suspension is not set up for comfort, the ride really isn't too bad. It's about the same as a WRX STI, maybe a bit better due to the lower weight. You can feel everything, but it's not unpleasant. This is very much a sports car and not a touring car.”
Owners of this Japanese roadster tend to be passionate folks, and this reviewer, who gives a lengthy explanation about his love for his car, is no exception.
“Where comfort is concerned, I'm 40 years old, have a cranky left knee, I'm 6ft 2 and have used my Mata daily for the last 4 years with no complaints. (Keep in mind, half of all my cars have lacked a back seat, and my largest is a toss between an Integra and a Fit.) The cost of ownership is extremely low, better than OEM parts are plentiful and often comparably priced.”
The Worst/Funniest Reviews
We’ve all been there: binge-shopping on Amazon and accidentally buying an Italian supercar.
“I went on Amazon to buy a bag of chocolate, a new keyboard for my computer, and somehow added one of these to my cart by accident and absolutely love it. I'm in crippling debt but when the repo man comes, he'll never be able to catch me. Great for smuggling exotic animals. Would highly recommend to a friend.”
If The Wolf Of Wall Street had access to Amazon…
“love this car, was my dream car but i turned that dream into reality. Stocks boiii.”
Sure, dude, you’re living out your Need For Speed fantasies.
“Amazing car. Although I have gotten in a few cop chases. Actually I'm in a cop chase right now. That's how fast the car is, I can stop and write a review and still not get caught. Thanks maserati.”
You’ve got to click through to see the photo to fully understand this reviewer’s praise.
“Wow I just love this car. I get excellent mileage which is odd for a car with an engine this big and I've crashed several times with no damage to the car.”
File this one under “first world problems.” Or maybe, “completely made-up problems.”
“This car has been detrimental to my family and relationships... I can no longer tell if people like me for me or for my car. Although nearly 1000 horse power sounds like a dream come true, my heart power was drained to a 0. No one loves me for me anymore. So what's the use of having 2 seats with zero friends? It's useless space if you ask me.”