Ford Flex

– Detroit, Michigan

Toyota basically ruined my life in 2010 when it debuted the “Swagger Wagon” commercial for its Sienna minivan. Six years later, people still use that stupid phrase to refer to the SE-trim Sienna, which I’d like to point out (1) doesn’t swagger and (2) isn’t a wagon. If any vehicle in this world is worthy of such a descriptor, it’s the Ford Flex. More wagon than crossover, and with a biturbocharged heart, it’s way cooler than any minivan out there.

The sad news is, the Flex is entering its twilight years. It’s eight years old now, and its D4 platform traces its roots back to the days when Ford owned Volvo. Old as it may be, and with its death in sight, it’s time to take the ol’ girl out for one more spin. This wagon indeed has some swagger left in it.

Pros

• The Flex is very polarizing – everyone I know either loves it or hates it; there’s no in-between. I’m in the former camp. The Flex looks rad, way better than any minivan, and with more visual interest than most frumpy mainstream crossovers. It’s retro-modern, and one of the only cars out there that can really pull off the two-tone paint job seen here (part of the sport appearance package). It’s different without sacrificing functionality, and I find that very refreshing.
• Stomp the gas pedal from a stoplight and I guarantee you’ll laugh. This thing weighs almost 5,000 pounds, but many outlets have recorded hitting 60 miles per hour in just over six seconds. That’s super quick, considering its size and...