5 Unexpectedly Awesome Pizza Delivery Vehicles
While it’s often the butt of unkind jokes, the profession of pizza delivery technician really isn’t that bad. The time goes by quickly, the money isn’t bad when you figure in mileage and tips, and you get a decent workout, at least on busy nights. And yes, I’m speaking from experience: class of Domino’s, summer of 1989. The problem with the job is the coolness factor, or lack thereof. To help with that shortcoming, here’s a look at five vehicles, each of which will put some swag in your step as you earn your nightly dough. Hearse
Before you laugh, hear me out. There are plenty of hearses on the used market, most with low miles. They have near-infinite room, which comes in handy for hauling a couple dozen pies to the local frat house. Your car may disturb people enough for them to give you the respect you deserve. Finally, later on you can claim you were making an artistic statement about the health hazards of fast food. Then you’ll get accolades from the media for taking on corporate America, guaranteeing you admission to the elite college of your choice.
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Custom Mercedes-Benz SL-Class
Nothing gains street cred like showing off your wealth, or at least the appearance of wealth. A bitchin’ ride will have onlookers wondering what else you deliver besides pizza. Of course the payments will take your entire paycheck and more, but the fringe benefits may be worth it.
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The ability to look down on others is a sure cure for low self-esteem, and you’ll be able to do so for real if you drive one of these bad boys. And, should people mock you anyway, you’ll be able to crush their wussy street cars into powder faster than a Dixie redneck can shout, “YEE-HA!”
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Creepy Panel Van
Combine one of these vans with a crazy, blanked-out stare and people will probably just get out of your way. For the right effect, keep a roll of duct tape next to the pies, so it falls out every time you open the back doors. Additional benefits include attention from law enforcement and dates with “interesting” people you’ll meet on the far fringes of the Internet.
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Toy Story Pizza Planet Pickup
Fans of the animated movie series Toy Story should agree with our last pick. The late 80s Toyota pickup used in the film plays a crucial role in the overall plot. We wouldn't mind going door to door and delivering some nostalgia alongside that large cheese pizza.
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Photo Credit: Disney/Pixar