Rihanna Buys Chris Brown $1M Mercedes-Benz SLR...Huh?
Honestly, we don't like talking about Chris Brown. To quote John Malcovich's Cyrus Grissom, the woman-beating Chris Brown is "somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty." Apparently, Rihanna must not feel too sore for the unlovable douche-nozzle, as the female pop star purchased an incredibly rare Mercedes-Benz for the backhand-happy Brown's 24th birthday. In a tale as old as time, boy meets girl, boy beats girl, girl buys boy $1million Mercedes-Benz SLR Sterling Moss. Not just any SLR McLaren– that would be absurd enough as-is. No, the female pop singer bought the abusive Chris Brown a 1-in-75 Stirling Moss edition of the Mercedes-AMG supercar. It truly proves that there is no justice in this world. I'm going to go eat an entire Hawaiian pizza and contemplate that a no-talent ass-clown assaulted a girl, and in return, she gave him a limited-edition supercar. PHOTOS: See more of the 2009 Mercedes-Benz SLR Sterling Moss Edition