Frankenstorm Hurricane Survival Guide: Cars That Can Kick Its Ass
Unless you live under a rock you may have heard there's a freak weather system heading up the east coast. It's called hurricane Sandy aka Frankenstorm, and it's further proof that the world feels like it is going to end. We think there's a trend, and since trend-spotters are experts - we put together an expertly researched list of amphibious vehicles to make sure that Hurricane Frankenbitch doesn't ruin your work week. Allow us to introduce you to our Frankenstorm Survival Guide. These are the cars that will kick its ass. There's little doubt that hurricane Sandy is one mean, wet, and nasty bitch. She's already laid waste to Haiti and several small islands flooding everything, and killing a reported 65 people. But Sandy is as diabolical as them come and now plans to team up with a massive cold front in an attempt drown the entire east coast in her menopausal rage.
The east coast, New York in particular, could see water levels swell to as much as eight feet over the next few days. Which is a lot when you consider a moderate rain causes major headaches for New York City's subway system and it's 19th century water pumps. So it goes without saying that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday morning commutes will be more Apocalypse Now than Wall Street.
Commuting will be tough unless you own a row boat, jet ski. military grade all terrain vehicle or one that combines all of them. So if you don't own the former be sure to continue reading and we'll walk you through the rest.
Land Rover Discovery Amphibious Edition: The blokes at Land Rover are a visionary group of chaps. They had the foresight in 1990 to know that 1995's Waterworld wasn't just going to be a terrible movie starring Kevin Costner, but would eventually become a reality TV show starring everyone on planet Earth. Their solution was to attach some ballast tanks to their rugged Land Rover Discovery and set sail. The coolest thing about this is that it's the only DIY vehicle on this list because Series I Land Rover Discoverys are insanely cheap right now, and so are outboard motors. There is the minor issue of keeping water out of the cabin. BoldRide recommends swinging by The Home Depot and picking up some day laborers along with some buckets.
PHOTOS: See more of the Land Rover Discovery Ampibious Edition
CAMI Hydra Terra: Do you have a large family and need to move them around like crazed red headed science teacher tripping on acid? You probably won't find a better vehicle to do it in than the CAMI Hydra Terra aka "The Magic School Bus." Though this probably applies less to New Yorkers (they hate kids and only have them to help offset the heavy taxes on their cushy yuppy salaries) and more rural New Jersey types and people in the Chesapeake Bay area.
PHOTOS: See more of the CAMI Hydra Terra
Water Car Python: Ever wonder what a would happen if a Chevrolet Silverado, a boat and Chevrolet Corvette had a threesome in the Playboy mansion's grotto? Neither did we, but there's this amphibious vehicle that is exactly all of those three mashed into one go-anywhere-and-look-like-a-douche-mobile.
PHOTOS: See more of the Water Car Python here
Iveco Sea Land: This experimental vehicle is the newest on the list, having been unveiled earlier this month at the Genoa International Boat Show. It's the only amphibious vehicle that comes in fire truck, military and yacht trim. So if you're a Tribeca resident you can both the 100 ft yacht and the Range Rover with the Iveco Sea Land pictured here. You could also try and claim 9/11 responder benefits...oh ,wait.
PHOTOS: See more of the Iveco Sea Land
Tbc Scammander: We like amphibious cars and we also like TVRs. So it's pretty much guaranteed that we were going to fall head over heels for Peter Wheeler's Scammander project. It's an amazing feat of engineering that also looks incredibly cool. It's our perrenial choice of amphibious apocalypse vehicles.
Aton Impulse Viking Similar to Iveco, Aton is the real deal. Based in rural Russia they build vehicles to survive winter, and or the impending apocalypse. With rubber tires larger than small children, the Impulse Vikiing is a serious go anywhere vehicle. Aton has just signed a deal to deliver these vehicles to NGO's operating in remote and geographically hostile locations.
This is the vehicle to have once the water rises above six feet because it's tires alone are about five feet tall, and it's huge. Like 18 wheeler tractor huge. Which means it has more than enough room to loot Whole Foods for water logged organic produce.
And of course, if you don't have one of these rides (or can't get one in the next few hours) we urge you to check your local weather reports and stay safe.
Source: The Weather Channel, Fox News Latino