Friends, if you don't speak Russian you might have some trouble following this epic off-road video. According to our nifty translator tool, it comes from Manager Anton on YouTube, which is a channel that focuses on vehicular antics off the beaten path. Fortunately, you don't need to understand Russian to thoroughly enjoy all 38 minutes of this wild adventure featuring the longest Hummer H2 you'll ever see.
For those of us in the United States, a stretched Hummer limo isn't that uncommon of a sight. That is, on paved roads, anyway. Sure, it still has four-wheel drive, but adding upwards of 10 feet to the wheelbase tends to diminish a vehicle's break-over angle. Surprisingly, that proves to be the only problem this laughably long H2 encounters while careening down exceptionally muddy roads and trails. If you don't want to see all the muddy fun, we have the video above set to start as the H2 approaches its doom.
Gallery: Hummer H2 Limo Off-Roading
Apparently, this Hummer limo was tasked to pick up a wedding party. Honestly, we aren't sure if that happened prior to this off-road adventure, or if the adventure was required to reach the party. Since the video ends without any sightings of people in formalwear we'll assume the wedding happened before the mud started flying and this is just a celebration of the day. Or, maybe the wedding thing was just YouTube's auto translator messing with us, because pretty much none of the translations made sense. But hey, we all speak the universal language of petrol and in this case, actions speak louder than words.
For anyone who plays the deliciously fun video game MudRunner or its SnowRunner sequel, this is basically a real-life version of that. In addition to the H2 limo going full send through deep mud and deeper ruts, we see a cavalcade of epic Russian off-road vehicles, not to mention a few global staples like the Toyota Land Cruiser. The fleet doesn't encounter any difficulties until they come upon a section of the path that was apparently closed off by local residents. The only way around was a path descending from the top of a dam, which wouldn’t be a problem for normal off-road vehicles.
That's where the non-existent break-over angle of the H2 limo presents a problem. The miles-long wheelbase leaves the SUV hopelessly high-centered just as it starts down the slope. For a brief moment, we see a futile attempt to push the Hummer down the trail but fortunately, one of the accompanying vehicles went ahead of the H2 and it was able to pull the limo free.
Unfortunately, the hard-charging trip didn't leave the Hummer unscathed. We don't know if any damage resulted from getting hung up on its frame, but by the end of the video its engine was overheated and the noise from beneath the hood was, well, ugly. Still, who would've thought a stretch limo could be so much fun outside of bachelor parties or prom nights?
All we need now is an H2 limo add-on for SnowRunner.