7 Non-Car Superhero Vehicles
I wrote a post last week about Dean Jeffries and the Black Beauty from the show The Green Hornet. It got all of us thinking about superhero vehicles. Batman had a car. Mr. Incredible from 2004's The Incredibles had a car. Even Spiderman had some ridiculous dunebuggy thing. But come on, superheroes. Why limit yourself to just cars? Check out these superhero vehicles that make four wheels look positively lame: Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane
See if you can follow this: Wonder Woman has what appears to be a modern jet aircraft. Yet when she's inside it, you can see her sitting in the seat, as if she was just flying around sitting in a Barcalounger. Yet it's really not invisible, because you can see the white outline of the plane. But if you can see the white outline, how come you can't see the white outline of the landing gear mechanism, and the inner workings of the jet engines. And when it flies, do you just see flames shooting out of nowhere? Never mind, this isn't a good idea at all.
RELATED: Justice League-Inspired Kia Optima
To cleanse your palate, here's a gratuitous photo of Wonder Woman at the controls.
I remember it like it was yesterday: I was 10 years old in 1978 and I walked into Tattersall's in Wilmington, Massachusetts and grabbed Action Comics #481, which had the Supermobile depicted on the cover. The Supermobile was designed to protect Superman from the red solar radiation that would rob him of his powers, and act as a conduit for his own powers while inside.
PHOTOS: Man of Steel Edition 2013 Ram Power Wagon
The Supermobile has retractable arms on either side, a scope that works with all of Superman's vision-related powers, and air jets that can direct Superman's super breath. As you'd expect from a guy that can fly on his own, though, Superman's used it about four times in the last 35 years.
Captain America's Motorcycle (TV Series)
If you grew up in the 1970s you remember The Amazing Spider-Man, starring Nicholas Hammond in an ill-fitting wool Spider-Man outfit, and the two Captain America TV movies (Captain America and Captain America II: Death Too Soon) right around the same time period. In the Captain America movies, Cap has a sweet Ford van, with a motorcycle stowed inside.
PHOTOS: The Black Widow's 2014 Corvette
Unlike the movie version, where Cap drives a really cool Harley, in the TV films, he's reduced to a two-stroke Yamaha with his flimsy plastic shield for a fairing. The bike features a "silent" mode -- which you'd sort of want to run all the time -- and the rider wears the dorkiest 1970s Bell helmet you ever saw in your life.
Aquaman's Aqua Sub
As evidenced by Lego: The Movie, everybody hates Aquaman. I assume that's mostly because his superpower involves talking to plankton. I don't remember Aquaman having a vehicle in Super Friends, but the nice folks at Fisher-Price gave him one, a submarine with "real diving action," facilitated by a pump that looks like it could double to cure erectile dysfunction. I'm a whole lot less disturbed by Aquaman's chosen shark vehicle than I am with the state of his Popeye arms. Dude, what happened? You're supposed to swim like Michael Phelps. With those guns you're going to sink like The Thing.
Green Lantern's Motorcycle
The Green Lantern's alter ego was a railroad engineer who comes into possession of a magic lamp after a crash. Wouldn't it make sense for his vehicle to be a train?
RELATED: Green Lantern-Inspired 2012 Kia Soul
Of course, then he'd have to arrange transportation to get from the train station to the bad guys' hideout, and he'd have to rent a car and you know what a pain that can be. So somewhere along the line, they gave him a motorcycle. Very few details about the bike exist, outside of the fact that it looks like something out of Tron.
The Flash can run at the speed of light.
WHY DOES HE NEED A GARISHLY PAINTED HAYABUSA THAT CAN'T GO 210 MPH?
Yeah, I get that everybody likes the Tumbler and the original Batmobile, but for me, Batman's most awesome vehicle was the Batboat. Why? Because whenever he used it, it instantly turned dingy, grubby Gotham City into the lovely blue waters of southern California JUST LIKE MAGIC.
PHOTOS: Full Galleries of the 1966 Batmobile and Batcycle
In case George Barris comes along to try and steal credit for the Batboat, it was created by Mel Whitley and Robert Hammond, who designed the Batboat from a Glastron V-174.